Stop Romanticizing A Quiet Life.
Do you think Anthony Bourdain would approve that?
Sure. Everybody needs some time off. Everybody should be happy by themselves. Everybody must take a quiet moment alone. But please, don’t romanticize a quiet life.
I love Phoebe Bridgers, and I’m sure she never meant to create this whole idea when she wrote “romanticize a quiet life, there’s no place like my room.” I definitely listen to that song while romanticizing a quiet, nice moment in my room. The thing that bothers me—and it has been bothering me more as I grow up—is that people use the excuse of a quiet life to be disengaged from society. They are friendless, they are apolitical, and they live chronically online.
Like, bitch please, go somewhere.
Life in the 21st century is not quiet. Life in your 20s is not quiet. It’s loud. It’s so loud that you can’t sit all day reading and journaling (and I’m The Journal Advocate!). Self-enjoyment only goes so far; you can’t become smarter just by consuming books, movies, and SUBSTACK from the comfort of your bed. You need to go out there and experience life. You know nothing about art if you only consume it and do not experience it in real life.
So yeah, I’m pissed off.
People spend so much time trying to fit into an internet persona/aesthetic that only exists online instead of experiencing different lifestyles and things. Like, didn’t our entire generation watch High School Musical 1? We were supposed to be the ones breaking the status quo. We were supposed to be the generation of influencers who like books AND raves, who like politics AND skincare, who like basketball AND musical theater!!
Just the thought of opening TikTok frustrates me now because I don’t feel deeply connected to most creators. Everyone seems to be fitting their niche way too specifically in a way that makes me question how much I would enjoy being friends with this person. Most of the time, I wouldn’t. I want to surround myself with people who read fantasy porn books and watch French New Wave films. People who do yoga in the morning and will share a late-night drunk cigarette with me. I want my For You page to be filled with those people. I want to feel like social media is fun. Is that too crazy?
I don’t want pretentiousness one way or the other. I just want to feel like everyone is multidimensional instead of online characters.
As we speak, Anthony Bourdain (my icon ⭐️) is trending on TikTok. Isn’t that so ironic? The guy who told people to MOVE, to GET OUT, is trending in the For You pages of people who want to romanticize a quiet life.
I bet he would say in one of his episodes, “Fuck a quiet life, what the fuck is a quiet life? Give me chaos, give me heartbreak, give me a night in a strange city with nothing but bad decisions and a bowl of noodles.” Yeah. I bet he would.
This is a rage post, but in all seriousness, I do have creators who truly inspire me and do not fit into this idea. I might create a post recommending all of them soon…
Com Amor,
Giulia
some people want a quiet life and some people want a chaotic one and most people i think would be happiest with a healthy combination of both that aligns to their wants and needs :) what i do know for sure is that the curation + performance of a quiet life is very far from a quiet life and not one i’d personally strive for. thanks for sharing giulia, this was great
Fuck a quiet life. There’s no stories of your own to to tell, only stories you’ve read about other people. People need to decentralise aesthetic and ‘cores’ from their lifestyle and actually have experiences themselves, in their own bodies, not vicariously through TikTok. Also, chaos is not the antithesis to quiet. You can go to parties and still get 8 hours of sleep, you can travel to countries that are safe and easy to navigate, you can have a healthy exercise habit and smoke occasionally. I’m sick of things becoming so polarised and one dimensional, we are all complex human beings !!